Oh me? Oh I'm fine. What did I do yesterday? That's so sweet of you to ask! I almost died/got seriously hurt! How? Well let me tell ya!
So it started off like any normal day. Goin to the beach with Robbie and Allison. We leave at about noon. (We don't actually get out of Portland until about 2 or so... yea, took a while to get our shit together.) So we're driving, la de da. Fairly uneventful drive there except for the pouring rain at times. But yea, whatever. Drivin, drivin, smokin, singin, drivin. (They sang with me, I was so happy. =) ) We stopped at the Tillamook Cheese Factory for ice cream because... well that's just what you do. You CAN'T go to the beach if you pass through Tillamook and NOT stop at the cheese factory. It was good too. Yum. Thank you sugar mama! =D
Soooo we finally get to Cape Kiwanda. We get out of the car and go to the beach. We walk on the rocks there and play with the water aminals. Hermit crabs and sea anenomes and what have you. Good times. (I got some good pictures. I'll put them in photobucket and send the link later.) Robbie pee's in a cave. Right after that these bippy twat girls go into that same cave and look around. We laugh a great deal and get on outta there. So we hike up Sand Mountain. We go over to the lovely foresty oasis to the left on the top. We look around, enjoy the sights, and hike a bit more. We go over to this bowl type place that has been carved out of the stand stone by the ocean's waves. Robbie and I are intrigued. We look closer. There seems to be a viable way to get down there. He's all for it. I say what the hell, and we make our way down the cliff. Yes, we're walking down a cliff. Very steep in some places, not so steep in others. I slipped and slid my way down a portion of the cliff and left some skin back there. Not too bad, but my hands hurt a great deal. We make it down there. (Oh yea, it's slightly rainy, and cold. Sand Mountain is made out of sand stone, sand, and clay. Lets continue.) So we're down there, lookin at all the rocks. There was a HUGE tide pool, it was lots of fun and very pretty. We were thinkin that maybe in the summer time it would be fun to hike down there and wade around in this tide pool because it is HUGE and not directly connected to the ocean itself so it will be warmer than the actual ocean. We look around, see the sights. We walk upon this black algea. WHOOP! Many slips and almost falls later, we decide it's better to walk on the swarthy barnicles. (Yes... swarthy.) Take some pictures, la de da, good times. We decide it's time to head back. We turn around and make our way back. I slip. I fall. Greatly. Like I fall on my stomach, not just trip and oops, I fall hard. Dad's digi cam is in my pocket. Shit. I put my arms out to brace myself, my legs have gone out from under me. I fall hard on my right arm. Got the wind knocked out of me somethin fierce. So I'm laying down on the slippery algea barnicle covered rock. Terrible pain in my arm. I slowly get back up and survey the damage. My pants, shirt and Flogging Molly hoody are gross. My hands hurt. I look at my arm where it hurts, up by the elbow on my forearm. CHRIST ALMIGHTY there is an instant blue spot on my arm. I seriously think I broke a blood vessel/vein because it was just so very blue and kind of a big mark. The area is instantly a different color and HURTS like a sumbitch. Ok... fine. I can deal. So we CAREFULLY make our way to the cliff that we came down on. Hmm, yea. Getting down a steep cliff is one thing. Getting up is totally different. So we see a way up. Go to the left and you can get on this ledge thing fairly easily and the ledge follows the cliff around to the part that isn't as steep as the rest of it. Seems like a good idea. I go up first and so far it's pretty good. Then I hit a really muddy part and holyl shit, start to slide down the cliff. I catch myself and I'm just.... hanging there. Holding myself up with one strategically placed food and my arms. I can't move. Robbie gets below me and helps me back down to try this again. He goes first this time and gets to a point where he can stop and wait for me. I try again. I'm doin alright. I get to that same spot, and down I go again. Robbie is now behind me so he tries to help me up. Either just me, or both of us lost our footing and we slide down the cliff on our asses. (I'm actually laughing right now, because... damn. I was laughing during this whole thing because it's either laugh or cry. We're hurt. Our asses hurt a lot. Our hands hurt. Our arms hurt, our backs hurt. SO WE TRY THIS AGAIN. He goes up first, this time w/out shoes. Gets to a really good spot. Waits for me. I take my shoes and socks off, and I go up. MOTHER FUCKER I SLIP IN THE SAME SPOT AGAIN! I tried different footing and everything. So he gets behind me and grabs ahold of my arm and with his help I slowly inch my way back up, on my ass, using my hands and feet to crab walk up the cliff. I get to a place that I can sit, and I do just that. Sit. I creep my way on the ridge on my ass, placing my hands and feet in the best places I can find. We come to the first slightly level spot. I turn around very carefully and crawl on my hands and feet. Now we're at the next steep spot. He scrambles up there fairly easily. Slips a few times, but no huge deal. I on the other hand, at this point was scared. Because it started raining more, and it was so muddy and slick and I like to take my time and know where I'm putting my feet. This particular incline isn't one where you can take your time. You have to scramble, but I'm scared (and we're quite a bit further up the cliff) so I just hold on for a while in one spot. Then I just said fuck it, I can't stay here for ever. I scramble like I've never scrambled before, each time slipping a little bit. But it's like walking on water I guess. You can't stay in one spot for too long, or you'll sink. So we make it to the last hurdle, if you will. Much steeper. Fairly verticle. There is one place to put a foot for maybe half a second, 'cause then you'd start to slip. By this time I am tired. I am scared, and I am cold. It got very very cold on our journey up. I have my right foot in a semi safe spot, my left foot in a semi safe spot, and I'm holding on to the top of the cliff with my right and left hand. Robbie was able to make this fairly easily because he has sufficent upper body strength and he's also quite a bit taller than I am. I am literally CLINGING to the top and afraid to let go. I can't do it. He says that if I take ahold of his arm, he'll help me up. I'm too afraid to let go. He then says that I don't have to worry, if I just hold on to him, he will pull me up and over, no matter where my footing is, I just have to rely on him. To my left is a canyoney type thing. Behind me is a steep incline, to my right is kind of a wall. (My hands are sweating as I type this.) I'm afraid that if he can't pull me up, then I swing over to the left and tumble down the canyon-esque thing. I'm terrified that he won't be able to pull me up. At this point I start to hyperventalate, my body starts to shake, and I truly truly honestly believe 1 of three things. 1) They're going to have to call the search and rescue team, because I can't make it. 2) I'm going to fall and break something vital. 3) I'm going to die. Right here and now. The search and rescue team thing was always on my mind. The falling and breaking something was on my mind for a good while. (Dodgy knee.) The dying thing was on my mind right then. Because unlike the other times where I slipped and fell, I had A LOT further to fall now. I'm still clinging on to the side of the cliff, but my appendages are starting to get tired. I'm starting to feel sick and light headed. (Prolly because of the hyperventalating and rediculous amount of fear I'm feeling.) Finally I grab his arm and say ok. I put my foot in the spot where he told me too and he pulled and I tried to hoist myself up the cliff, foot was starting to slip and I'm trying to put my feet any where that they would stick but they weren't, my other hand is fucking grasping for anything. HE BASICALLY PULLED ME UP AND OVER THE CLIFF. Honestly it was 90% him pulling. So with him pulling and me crawling, we're on level ground. I have never been more relieved in all my life. Like, never. I look up, and there is another steep part that didn't seem that way coming down at all. But now it's been raining and it's slick. I start to scramble up it and then start to slip. Robbie grabs my hand and helps me up. We are safe. Finally. We're at the top, Allison is waiting up there for us (she was the smart one!) and she was fairly worried about us. She was about to go call the search and rescue. I stand. I am so tired. I am so dirty because of the mud, sand and clay that is everywhere, all over my clothes. I literally look like I rolled in mud. (Which I kinda did.) Robbie is dirty too. Not quite as bad as I am, but he's still muddy and sandy like, woa. So we go up the rest of the mountain, through the forest, and back down. It is down fairly dark. It's very windy. It's also very rainy. FUCKING MISERABLE! By this point I've put my shoes back on and now they're filled with sand. Walked back to the car which seemed to take for ever. Got in the car, sand and all. That's when my nerves broke. Started shaking very very badly, like one would if they were really cold, but by this point I had warmed up enough to where I should be shaking this badly. It was crazy shaking, looked like I was trying to make myself shake but I wasn't. We sit. I've never needed a cigarette so badly in my life, so we sit and smoke. Then we go to the Pelican Brew Pub which is right on the beach in the same parking lot as the Cape Kiwanda beach. Yea... we drive over to it. It's only on the other side of the parking lot but yanno what, FUCK THIS SHIT. So we go in and luckily I brought a change of pants and socks. (No shirt though.) I go in and go to the bathroom to change my pants. I think about changing my socks but I would of had to stick my feet in the sink to wash them off, then put on the socks, then put my nice washed off feet and clean socks into shoes filled with sand. So I just say fuck it and put my shoes back on. Walk back out to our table and sit there with clean pants, a terribly muddy/wet shirt and rediculously sandy shoes. We eat. Oh do we eat. I had calmed down enough to stop shaking and enjoy our adventure. We start laughing. A lot. Ok ok, I start laughing at nothing just because of how tense I was and I needed to release it. It was either laugh or cry. We have fantastic food. Their artichoke dip is divine. Their bread is wonderful. The grilled chicken penne pasta is lovely. Even their lemonade is good. We eat our fill, we drink, and we go back to the car. Luckily I had calmed down enough to drive. So we make our way home. Besides EXTREME fog, jack asses riding my ass, bright light fuckers that didn't dim their lights, and an OWL FLYING ACROSS MY WIND SHIELD, it was a fairly uneventful ride home. I have never been so glad to see Hillsburrito in my life, because that told me we were close to home. Dropped Allison and Robbie off, thanked them for a wonderful day and for saving my life, and came home. Threw my clothes in the wash. (I've washed them once with a rinse, rinsed them again, and now they're in the dryer. I think they've survived. My shoes on the other hand... I'm hoping for the best. Because I really love those shoes. They're my black and pink Airwalks.) Rinsed off my feet, and came to the computer to sit and tell our tale. It was definately an interesting, extreme, unforgettable day. Now I'm going to go shower, and go to bed. Holy christ my arm hurts.